Challenge Yourself

Ever wonder how we phase from one point in our lives to the other? You know those infamous moments in time when it is the most uncomfortable...the growing pains called LIFE. I do. I wonder how I have managed to make it through some of the toughest times of my life (i.e raising a child with autism) and I have still come out "ok" on the other side. Not to say that I came out completely unscathed, because I have not. I have battle wounds and some very deep scars. I have lost some very important things along the way. But, sometimes....that is the price we have to pay. Unfortunately.

I like a challenge and life always presents us with challenge. But it's those very challenges that make us stronger individuals. Weaves the fabric of our lives....
Right now I am experiencing the most painful challenge of my life. The death of my marriage. It's been ugly and I am shameful of my behavior at times, but I know without a doubt that I have done everything possible to save it and it still wasn't enough. Sometimes....even though it's painful, we have to know when enough is enough and let go. Which is what I have done. I am letting go of the dream, letting go of the challenge and letting go of the hurt, anger and pain. It's just time.

So, this brings me to my subject of challenging oneself. I am challenging myself to rise above this and prevail. Challenging myself to keep trudging the road to a happy destiny. I was once told by a wiser person than I, that the word "trudge" means to walk with a purpose. I like to think that I do have a purpose and I am walking towards that. So I keep trudging along....challenging myself to be a better person, better mother and hopefully a better partner to the next person I might be lucky enough to share my life with. Actually I don't think the future looks so glum. I am excited about the possibilities that are out there for me. That makes me smile...just a little.