Acceptance

Today I am writing about my own acceptance. Never in my life have I been more aware of age and it's limitations. For the first time in my life, it has occured to me that I am middle aged. Now one would think that when I get up every day and look at my 46 yr old self in the mirror, that I would already know that, right? Wouldn't those pesky gray hairs and ever present bags under the eyes and the ever increasing wrinkles give that away? But really, truly I am seriously just now figuring it out. And for once I am feeling that my age is actually holding me back at something. That something is work.

I have been at my current job for just about 2 yrs now. Today as I was driving to work, I realized that even though I prayed and prayed for this job, that it just might not be the job for me after all. I am so very grateful to even have a job that pays decent wages and has good benefits, why should I even complain, right? The complaint lies in the fact that for the first time in my life, I have NOT been able to excel in a place that I work. I have now officially been passed over for 4 promotions. FOUR! I know that I am totally qualified, so why am I getting passed over? It can't be my job performance, which if I may toot my own horn for a minute, is excellent! It's has got to be because I am old. Nothing more, nothing less. Wow, what a slap in the face of my reality! Accept that one. You are getting passed over for promotions because you are 10-15 years older than all your co-workers. Ouch!

So about a month and half ago I started selling 31 Gifts on the side to make some extra cash since I am seemingly going nowhere in my current job. So far, I am super excited with it!! It's new and exciting and different and I am really enjoying it so far! I am motivated and I am feeling like I am being pulled in this direction from above. I never pictured myself as being in direct sales, but this really seems to be a good fit for me. My hope is to do so well with 31, that I can quit my current job, sell and recruit for 31 full time and be close to home to my 2 beautiful girls and get back to being the mom I used to be to them. Wish me luck in my new adventure. Please send positive thoughts my way if you can spare some!

And you know what? Today, I just really don't care that I am going nowhere in my current job. I know that God has placed me exactly where I am supposed to be right now and I have hope on my horizon and if this place doesn't want to promote me, well then that's quite alright and it's their loss because they have no clue exactly what they have passed over!!