My nephew, baby Max, came to spend the night last. I got the baby fever bad!!
The best part about having him spend the night, is that I was able to give him back to his parents this afternoon and now I can take a nap. I forgot what it was like to have a wee one in the house. But we ALL enjoyed him tremendously. He was a perfect angel.
Here are some pics of my little chunky monkey right here:
Ok, I can hardly contain my laughter. I was bored tonight and made a little video.
Wanna see it? Here it is.
This is starring my husband, a good friend and myself. I am sooo bad.
Ivy: Mom do you know Austin Frazier?
Me: Yes, Ivy (he is an 8th grader at her school)
Ivy: Well, I want him to be my boyfriend.
Me: Oh, reaaaaally? He's kinda old for you doncha think missy?
Ivy: No, he's really smart, and he's funny and he gave me high five in the hallway. (all good attributes I guess)
Me: Well, dear, he is TOO OLD for you.
Ivy: No he isn't!! I want to be his girlfriend
And then she skipped off. :) :) :)
Now, I am going to tell you why I think that was probably one of the coolest conversations I have ever had with Ivy.
First off, she initiated the conversation (something new here). Second, she LIKES a boy (also something new). Third, she likes a boy for his brains and his humor, not his looks (is she a keeper or what?!?!?!). Fourth, she sets her goals HIGH I tell you (he is only 8 years her senior!!!)
So, it may seem like frivolous conversation to some, but to me, the mom that has been waiting to have a conversation with her daughter for almost 4 years now, gosh it was like the sweetest conversation ever.
All the work, all the worries, all the crazy trials and tribulations....it's ALL worth it. Every single minute I have spent reading, researching and trying new things to heal her. She amazes me every single day. She is fighting. She is coming back to us. The Ivy she was born to be is slowly, but surely coming back to me. There is so much hope now where there once was none.
I wish all parents with kids that have autism could feel as happy as I do this very minute. I wish them strength. I wish them hope too. I wish them sweet little nothing conversations.
Let it be......know how hard that is to do? I think as humans, we are work in progress. Daily, we promise to give it all to God, but daily, we end up taking it all back. We think we know what's best for us when in reality, we have no clue. How many times I have done this over and over and over.
Try letting it be for a change Lisa. Oh gosh, that is almost next to impossible for me some days. I guess the difference for me these days is that I am at least aware of when I am taking things back that I promised to let go of. I think the important thing is to just keep trying and keep striving to be better.
Oh well, today is just a lazy Saturday afternoon, I think I may take a nap and forget my *to-do* list for the day and just Let It Be.....
Brings to mind that old Beatles song that I loved dearly as a young girl.
Let It Be
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
Funny how things come full circle at certain times in our life isn't it?
I recently had the opportunity to apologize for something I have felt bad about for 25 years. I mean it wasn't like I carried it around for all to see, or that I was wearing the scarlet letter "A" or anything. I just always knew whenever this person's name was mentioned that I owed him an apology. I just did something that was not very nice my Senior year in high school, that I have always regretted and felt bad about. I am currently working on planning my 25 yr class reunion and I sent an email to this classmate off my high school's alumni page. We exchanged one brief email, but in my email, I was able to apologize and that felt so good. I felt like I had finally come full circle and I was feeling pretty good afterwards. Now, I am not sure how he felt, but I felt so much better. I am pretty sure it was insignificant to him, but just in case it wasn't, I was glad to have the opportunity to finally say the words, "I am sorry:" Full circle. Yep, indeedy. I love it when that happens.
And speaking of circles, that reminds me of a friend of mine that sent me the most amazing card this week... dear Heather, this circle is for you.
It seems that at some times all we ever do is complain and focus about the negatives in life. Like, what we don't have or what we didn't get. You can get all caught up in going on and on about how wrong something is, or how unfair life has treated you. Sooner or later, you have to decide you are not going to wallow in self-pity any longer and get up and DO something to stop the madness. If you don't, you are most likely going to cause yourself (and probably the others around you) a great deal of unnecessary pain. Life is too short to spend it angry, bitter and self-absorbed. Sometimes you just have to appreciate the little things in life.
Take this morning for instance. (I got a little story to share with you if you care to hear it.) Yesterday I wanted to walk. I really, really, really, really wanted to walk. Well, this morning, God gave me a little present reminding me about what's really important in life and showed me how it's not the walking that matters, but about the people who walk along the path WITH us that matter.
This morning, I am getting ready for yet another stressful day at work and I am in my bathroom doing my hair. Husband Ed is sitting on the end of our bed talking to me when the girls came in to kiss me good-bye for the day. Ivy kisses Ed first and says in a real dainty and sweet voice (with her best English accent to boot) as she cocked her head to the side, "We're laaaaaadies Daddy!" Meaning her and Jade of course.
It was so funny, we all burst out laughing. I can't REMEMBER the last time we all laughed together in the morning. That is when it struck me that we had made it through the whole morning routine without one cross word, no rolling eyes, no stomping feet, no huffing, no puffing, no I am not getting dressed, no arguing, no nothing. It was a glorious morning indeed. And just a for teeny, tiny moment, I thought, WOW, that must be what it's like in a normal family!!! I had to stop right there and thank God for that little present. I have to give thanks where thanks is due.
Last night as I lay my head down to sleep, I begged God for help. All I asked for was one normal day, just one normal day without fighting and resistance from my children. I asked for peace and harmony in my life. Well, He delivered for me....BIG TIME!!!!
I had a stress free day at work, was able to enjoy some fun with Jade after school at Brownies and now Ed has taken the girls and went off to do some visiting so I can have some peace and quiet here at the house...all alone. How's that for an answered prayer? Yes, and even though they may seem small and insignificant to some, I have to appreciate those little things in my life to keep myself grounded on a daily basis. Appreciate the little things Lisa......just appreciate the little things.
1 IN 150 KIDS ARE BEING DIAGNOSED. 1 IN VERY 94 BOYS. BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.
Thinking back, I see a pattern in my life where I have experienced times of restlessness. It seems to to be the one thing that gets me into trouble over and over and over. It's not just my restless heart that gets me into trouble, but my restless feet as well. These feet were made for walking and that's what I usually do. When life gets tough, I walk.
Only now, right here and right now in my life, I can't walk and that is the very thing that has me SO DARN restless. Every ounce of me wants to walk....walk far, far away but I can't. Walking means giving up everything. Walking is out of the question. Walking is for quitters. Quitters never win and winners never quit, right? So, instead of walking, I stay. Restless and nervous and not healed as I had hoped for. I stay out of love for my children. I stay because I want to win.
Maybe I should invest in a treadmill, then I can walk all I want without leaving the farm.
So, here's to walking....and restless hearts.
